Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
