sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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