YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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