I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize