Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Randomize
