dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
