AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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