i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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