Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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