I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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