I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
