Nicole vs. Life
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize