Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
