dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
