It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
