hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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