Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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