Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
