I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
