i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
