i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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