Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
