your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
