I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
