high people should be assigned attendants
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
