i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
