Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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