he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
