I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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