Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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