Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
