Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize