I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
