I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
