Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My breasts were aching with rage.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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