went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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