you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Sext me about skeletons
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
