I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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