Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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