eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
