so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
