Fine. I'll sleep in my office
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
