Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Terrible idea I love it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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