I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
