More tranny stories later!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
