Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
