Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
only if we run a train.
done.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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