Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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