maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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