My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
