(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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