She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
