I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize