We're like a lot better than the average bears
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
did i just pee glitter
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