She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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