We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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