is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
