Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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