Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
