Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
