im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
