hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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