not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
